Mysterious Glow

I’m enjoying this season’s television program, L.A. Ink, but for all the wrong reasons.

I think the point of a show about a tattoo shop, is to highlight the artistry of tattooing. L.A. Ink, a spin-off of Miami Ink, features Kat Von D, who specializes in making portraits of loved-ones and pets, in the medium of tattooing. There are moments of genuine pathos, where people bring in photographs of deceased children and loved ones, and they are forever marked with these images. The people usually tell a story about what these people, and at times animal companions, meant to them. Kat doesn’t seem to have a way with words, and usually says, “That is like, so cool.” But I imagine she must feel some pride in this kind of sentimental tattooing.

My hat is off to Kat Von D who has now made herself into something of a celebrity, in a town and country full of would-be celebs, she now has her own tv show. All this from humble beginnings of scratching home-made Misfits tattoos on herself and her friends. She has parlayed the decidedly low-end art form of tattooing and her glamorous pin-up style good looks into what Madison Avenue douchebag types would call her very own “brand.”

As much as I admire the carefree yet jet-setting lifestyle of Kat, there is something on the show, that has nothing to do with tattooing, which is irritating – a manipulative presence known as Aubrey. Aubrey, who has no visible tattoos, is hired by Kat’s little brother, while Kat is away on business. This is an obvious producer decision by the producers to make the show more interesting. This person was previously a ‘contestant’ on Rock of Love, a reality show where skanky girls compete to out-maneuver each other to sleep with Brett Michaels. Brett being a former and has-been rock star. Porn stars have more dignity that these girls.

Aubrey immediately gets to work on the cast with her manipulation. She repeatedly makes statements to show that she is powerless and not a threat to anyone. She says things like “If I make a mistake, just hit me in the head.” She admits that she knows nothing, but is, “willing to learn.” Since tattooing could be a vector for spreading infectious disease, the shop has very strict and sensible policy in regards to the handling of materials. Aubrey doesn’t understand this or pretends not to. She contaminates work areas. To make sure that people imagine her as incompetent she asks one of her fellow employees to write “Clean” and “Dirty” on her left and right hand.

So the question that comes up with me is, “Is Aubrey really stupid or is she playing dumb?” It is very possible that Aubrey is simply as stupid as she says she is. But I think that something else is going on. Pretending to be “dumber than your mark” is a classic con. Not all con artists come around with a pencil-thin moustache and are fast talking grifters. A more insidious con artist is the “dummy.” Convincing others that they have nothing to fear, because they are smarter and the con artist is dumber, is a great way for the con to get people to lower their guard. Then the manipulator can impose their real agenda.

I think a clear example of this is displayed by Aubrey when she decides to ‘decorate her area.’ Kat is away, and so the mouse does play. She does little things to annoy the rest of the shop, like burn fragrant candles and puts flowers in her area. These stunts are to test the limits of what she can get away with. She then takes a painting off the wall, a gift to Kat from an artist friend, puts it on the ground in the hallway, and puts an erotic picture of herself in its place. She then makes the claim that Kat will be delighted with this. As expected, Kat is furious with this and after much mascara is cried off of Aubrey’s face, Aubrey apologizes. Later, feeling some pity for poor little Aubrey always the victim, Kat makes the mistake of putting up Aubrey’s picture elsewhere in the shop. Which I suspect was Aubrey’s calculation all along. It is crystal-clear to me that Aubrey is seeking attention and fame. Having her picture up in a shop that gets national TV exposure is quite a coup for her.

I recommend watching an episode or two. Aubrey’s actions could be an instructional course on coat-tail riding and the fast track to fame, without doing any work of one’s own. Never ever let anyone like this into your life.