Mysterious Glow

I thought this was a joke at first, but the lovely and talented Skepbitch has found a gem of kookery here. She has uncovered an unintentionally hilarious and embarrassing story of a haunted colon. Warning: Strong Language.

My husband Riley has had an anal ghost infection on several occasions in the past few years. The phenomena can be very disturbing and unnerving. And the word frightening does not equate to the level of panic it caused me.

At night laying inn bed after a ghost hunt with his group he would begin to let out gas. The stench was horrible. It smelt like something dead and raw sewerage. It even formed word with the sounds of his flatulence. And it went as far as cursing out individuals in restuarants, Church and a funeral of a close relative. The intense passing gas attacks my husband had actually produced audible words that clearly sounded like a man speaking with a gruff or raspy voice. It would say ” You Are F——g Doomed!” in a farty sounding voice like sound. Or, “Mutha F__K, He Is mine until the day he dies!” at first I thought it was Riley just playing games with me, throwing his voice like a ventriloquist, until the black diarrhea started while he was still asleep in his favorite chair.

I think other places could be haunted, that people haven’t considered. Take Indian and Mexican food restaurants for example. These could cause a spectral infestation in the colon. Frozen, microwave burritos probably need to be exorcised by a Priest or Rabbi before ingestion. Most health food stores and macramé outlets have a product called ‘Beano’ which is a kind of anti-fart medication that many hippies take. I think there needs to be holy wafers alongside this product to take care of demonic and ghostly colonic hauntings.

Thank you.
Brad